How do you see yourself?

I had a bit of a reality check this past week.  I was in a public pool doing my deep water aerobics and a woman walked in.  She was wearing a one piece suit with a pair of shorts over it.  I thought to myself, "I wouldn't mind getting down to that size.  She looks healthy but not too skinny."  As she started swimming, I realized that she actually weighed more than me. 

I have known for a long time that I don't see myself the way other people do.  I see myself as taller and thinner than what other people see me as.  But what I learned this week is that I see other people when they are at a distance the same way that I see myself. 

My doctor tells me that I need to lose 40-50 pounds.  But when I see other people my size, I see a healthy person that if they come down with an illness they will have the strength to fight it.  I see a person at a size that can still be active.

I've been losing 2-3 pound a month.  Now this past week, I got in more exercise than I have in six months and I gained 3 pounds in the one week.  ....what is up with that?  Something in my body is goofed up BIG time.